my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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