I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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