we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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