Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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