What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize