mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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