It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize