the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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