Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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