You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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