You just made me feel so damn special
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize