i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
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This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
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He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
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