life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize