I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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