Me. At least after what I've been through.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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