Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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