id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
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You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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