I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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