your parents love me but you hate me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize