I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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