Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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