Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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