I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
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I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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