put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize