Who wears a wallet chain?!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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