Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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