And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize