Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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