My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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