dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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