it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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