dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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