sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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