I think I won the penis lottery.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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