The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My vagina just recognized that song.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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