Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
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I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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