We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize