well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
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She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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