So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
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I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
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This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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