Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize