so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize