Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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