trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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