Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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