Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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