I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize