Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
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I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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