just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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