It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Randomize