Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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